Trust. Not in ourselves but in our Creator.
Friends, no matter where you are now, where you were yesterday or where you will be tomorrow, we have only one thing to do. Trust that God's plan will always far exceed our own.
As many of you know we travel a fair amount. HA. Understatement of the century. Truth is we haven't spent more than 2 years in the same place since we met and married in 2005. The last seven years have been filled with all sorts of unexpected twists and turns. There were many a valley in which I wondered if we would make it to the peak and I questioned what the heck God was doing. Oh but did God know what he was doing!
Today I write from our beautiful town home in Tyler, TX. I write while our precious 5 month old little girl sleeps and our sweet puppies lounge around the house. I write while my husband works at a job he loves and one that provides for us allowing me to stay home. I write from a place of complete contentment. I write with a peace that surpasses my understanding. This peace comes from finally giving up on my need to control my life and handing everything over to the one who knows far more than I do.
I bought a small plaque a year ago that read, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5 It has served as a physical reminder to me of God's goodness. A year later I look at this plaque and instead of pleading with God to free my heart of control, I praise God for the freedom I have found in trusting Him fully and not leaning on my own understanding. As each day passes, I realize more and more that trusting God is all I have to do. It takes so much less energy to trust God than it does to question every detail of my life.
Having our own daughter has truly changed my life. God has shown me that out of nothing he can create something that is so precious and priceless and irreplaceable. Words can't describe the love I have for her. No matter what she does or who she becomes, I will always love her with a love so deep it hurts. I think of the love I have for my daughter and then I realize as a daughter of God how deeply he loves me. The grace he has extended to me is amazing. Through every peak and valley, God was there, he never left.
Trust. Trust that God is good and you will see how true this is. I pray for my friends and my family. That God would be the one you look to in every peak and valley. I love the testimony God is creating for me. We are so blessed to be on this journey. I am even more blessed to share my life with an incredible man of God and a baby that I pray grows to love the Lord as much as we do.
God is good.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Brenna Rose: 5 Months!
5 Months and you just keep getting more and more FUN!
September 18th, just two days after you turned 5 months old, you decided to roll!! I was on the floor playing with you as you kicked your little arms behind you and you swam like a fish with your arms in front of you. Every now and then you would do a few baby push ups and then all of a sudden you were on your side. This was not new. You loved to tease us by moving onto your side and then simply rolling back onto your tummy. But not THIS time! This time you went onto your side and kicked your sweet little baby leg over and boom! You landed on your back!
Daddy was walking out of the room when I gasped, "Matt! She rolled! Our baby rolled!" I giggled with glee. It's amazing the pride that I have for your small and big developments. I kept putting you back on your tummy so you could show me your amazing rolling ability over and over again. You must have rolled a dozen times that night! Oh and did I mention it was already almost your bedtime? What a perfect way to end our day.
So far month 5 has been pure joy. You are still nursing a couple of times a night but every now and then you will sleep through the night and I wake up feeling amazingly refreshed! Gramma Cindy and Grampa John bought you your first chair! You weren't sure what to make of it at first but now we have fun sitting you in it and helping you develop your muscles in preparation for sitting up on your own!
Grandpa Dale and Grandma Diane bought you an exersaucer. It lets you play while standing up and you have already figured out how to bounce in it! The sudden noises on the toys still startle you but you are beginning to figure out how to play. I love watching you during play time.
Yesterday we took you to brunch at the main office of the Cascades and our friend Donya made the observation that you are like the Jason Bourne of babies! You are extremely alert. Whenever we take you somewhere you are "looking for all the exits" as Donya put it. Just about everyone that meets you comments on your alertness. We are so proud of you and of how calm and happy you are.
We live so far away from your extended family but you are starting to recognize faces on Skype and that is very fun! We still don't let you watch too much tv, but we figure a little computer screen time with family is ok every once in awhile!
Bath time is still one of your favorite times of day. Although I am starting to wonder if play time is creeping in for your favorite activity! Part of play time always involves the puppies. You smile at them, giggle and love to stare at them. I can't wait until you can chase them and pet them!
One of my favorite developments is how you sing when I come in to pick you up after naps. It's a sound much like an owl, "hoooo, hoooo, hoooo." You tend to sing most when you first wake up and when you get tired and are ready for bed. You also love it when mama sings. I love singing to you and I love your smiles and giggles even more!
It's hard to believe you have been with us for 5 months already! I love every minute sweet Brenna Rose!
September 18th, just two days after you turned 5 months old, you decided to roll!! I was on the floor playing with you as you kicked your little arms behind you and you swam like a fish with your arms in front of you. Every now and then you would do a few baby push ups and then all of a sudden you were on your side. This was not new. You loved to tease us by moving onto your side and then simply rolling back onto your tummy. But not THIS time! This time you went onto your side and kicked your sweet little baby leg over and boom! You landed on your back!
Daddy was walking out of the room when I gasped, "Matt! She rolled! Our baby rolled!" I giggled with glee. It's amazing the pride that I have for your small and big developments. I kept putting you back on your tummy so you could show me your amazing rolling ability over and over again. You must have rolled a dozen times that night! Oh and did I mention it was already almost your bedtime? What a perfect way to end our day.
So far month 5 has been pure joy. You are still nursing a couple of times a night but every now and then you will sleep through the night and I wake up feeling amazingly refreshed! Gramma Cindy and Grampa John bought you your first chair! You weren't sure what to make of it at first but now we have fun sitting you in it and helping you develop your muscles in preparation for sitting up on your own!
Grandpa Dale and Grandma Diane bought you an exersaucer. It lets you play while standing up and you have already figured out how to bounce in it! The sudden noises on the toys still startle you but you are beginning to figure out how to play. I love watching you during play time.
Yesterday we took you to brunch at the main office of the Cascades and our friend Donya made the observation that you are like the Jason Bourne of babies! You are extremely alert. Whenever we take you somewhere you are "looking for all the exits" as Donya put it. Just about everyone that meets you comments on your alertness. We are so proud of you and of how calm and happy you are.
We live so far away from your extended family but you are starting to recognize faces on Skype and that is very fun! We still don't let you watch too much tv, but we figure a little computer screen time with family is ok every once in awhile!
Bath time is still one of your favorite times of day. Although I am starting to wonder if play time is creeping in for your favorite activity! Part of play time always involves the puppies. You smile at them, giggle and love to stare at them. I can't wait until you can chase them and pet them!
One of my favorite developments is how you sing when I come in to pick you up after naps. It's a sound much like an owl, "hoooo, hoooo, hoooo." You tend to sing most when you first wake up and when you get tired and are ready for bed. You also love it when mama sings. I love singing to you and I love your smiles and giggles even more!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Brenna Rose: 4 Months
Oh sweet baby girl, how on earth are you four months old already?! Weren't you just inside my belly like yesterday?
I love watching you develop as you grow. When I go in to pick you up after naps you turn your head and smile knowing I am there. Then I pick you up, squeeze you tight and say, "Good morning Brenna Rose, I love you!" You respond with another big gummy smile. We go to the changing table and I get to spend precious minutes with you as you stare up at me with your beautiful big brown eyes. Changing diapers isn't the fun part but getting that face to face time with you is priceless. You kick and stretch and talk to mama. By the end of the diaper change you are ready to eat! Thank goodness we have the eating thing figured out now :)
Nap time is still very inconsistent. I try to put you down after a little over an hour but sometimes you fight sleep and we end up rocking for a long time. I pray over you and ask God for patience as I rock your ever growing little body to sleep. And then that moment comes where you give way to sleep and close your eyes. Your breathing is rhythmic and I know I can gently put you down without waking you. After every nap battle I always find that I miss you just as soon as you close your eyes. I rush to take a shower, eat, check email and maybe have time to work on some projects before I hear you coo signalling my cue to come start our play time again :)
These days you spend time on your floor mat. You talk to your toys, kicking them with your chubby little toes. We also do tummy time for a little while but really you would much rather be in mama's arms. You are so curious of the world around you. You love watching the puppies as they play. They sniff your sweet head and Lola tries to sneak in kisses. Stella wants to be in the bedroom when you are napping. I think she knows you are her little sister and as the alpha dog it's her duty to protect you. When we go outside you are perfectly content to sit on my lap and stare out at nature.
We try to go on walks when the mornings are cool enough. You stare wide eyed at the trees and scrunch up your face when mommy forgets to adjust the sun visor. By the end of most walks you are ready to nap and I speed up my steps a little more to get you home as quickly as I can. I always feel terrible when I discover you have a sweaty head. These TX summers are too hot!
As for really getting out of the house, we don't go out too much- daddy's big truck scares me and it's usually more work than it's worth for me to window shop or pick up one or two items. Thankfully daddy is great at doing the shopping for us! Plus that way mommy doesn't spend too much money.
I need to take more video. I try to take some every couple of days and I know it's been awhile since I videotaped you. I hope to watch the clips on your 1st birthday. I already know I'll be boo-hooing the entire time. There are so many challenges to taking care of an infant but somehow I know I will miss this time tremendously once you are walking and talking and no longer nursing. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. I work hard to consciously be aware of the time you are little. I want to cherish these days when I can simply scoop you up into my arms and that is enough to make you smile. I want to kiss your toes at every diaper change and give you butterfly kisses as I hold your cheek close to mine. I want to sing Do-Re-Mi, ABC's and count to 10... you love it when I sing to you.
Bathtime!! Oh how you love your baths. You are content and quiet and then I start singing, "Splish splash we were taking a bath, all on a "insert day of the week here" night! Then you giggle and we play. By the end of bathtime you are hungry and tired and oh so ready for bed. Bedtime is still 10pm. I tried to move it up last night and it didn't go so well. We spent an hour and a half trying to get you to go to sleep. Then like magic, 10pm hit and you were out! Maybe we will try moving bedtime up again in a few weeks.
We still haven't found a pediatrician for you. I pray every night before you go to bed that God would protect you and keep you healthy. I also pray we find a pediatrician soon as I would like to take you in for your 4 month checkup! I'm curious to see what your weight and height stats are. Here are some of my favorite recent shots of you!
You are doing lots of smiling, cooing, singing and talking but still no rolling over for you baby! I don't mind. I like that you aren't mobile yet. You take your time and when you are good and ready you can roll over. It's almost like you enjoy keeping us in suspense! Or actually, it's more that you are perfectly content on your back. With your pleasantly plump little bod, rolling is probably a lot of work anyway. We don't want you to overwork yourself!
God is good, so so good. You are a happy, sweet tempered, quiet but yet talkative baby. I thank God every day for blessing us with such an easy baby. We are growing in our roles as mommy and daddy but you make it easy sweet girl.
Grandma Cindy will be here tomorrow. I can't wait to show her all the new things you can do. The last time she saw you, you were only 5 weeks old! I pray it's a wonderful visit filled with lots of wonderful memories.
Thank you Jesus for our beautiful, beautiful baby girl!!!!
I love watching you develop as you grow. When I go in to pick you up after naps you turn your head and smile knowing I am there. Then I pick you up, squeeze you tight and say, "Good morning Brenna Rose, I love you!" You respond with another big gummy smile. We go to the changing table and I get to spend precious minutes with you as you stare up at me with your beautiful big brown eyes. Changing diapers isn't the fun part but getting that face to face time with you is priceless. You kick and stretch and talk to mama. By the end of the diaper change you are ready to eat! Thank goodness we have the eating thing figured out now :)
Nap time is still very inconsistent. I try to put you down after a little over an hour but sometimes you fight sleep and we end up rocking for a long time. I pray over you and ask God for patience as I rock your ever growing little body to sleep. And then that moment comes where you give way to sleep and close your eyes. Your breathing is rhythmic and I know I can gently put you down without waking you. After every nap battle I always find that I miss you just as soon as you close your eyes. I rush to take a shower, eat, check email and maybe have time to work on some projects before I hear you coo signalling my cue to come start our play time again :)
These days you spend time on your floor mat. You talk to your toys, kicking them with your chubby little toes. We also do tummy time for a little while but really you would much rather be in mama's arms. You are so curious of the world around you. You love watching the puppies as they play. They sniff your sweet head and Lola tries to sneak in kisses. Stella wants to be in the bedroom when you are napping. I think she knows you are her little sister and as the alpha dog it's her duty to protect you. When we go outside you are perfectly content to sit on my lap and stare out at nature.
We try to go on walks when the mornings are cool enough. You stare wide eyed at the trees and scrunch up your face when mommy forgets to adjust the sun visor. By the end of most walks you are ready to nap and I speed up my steps a little more to get you home as quickly as I can. I always feel terrible when I discover you have a sweaty head. These TX summers are too hot!
As for really getting out of the house, we don't go out too much- daddy's big truck scares me and it's usually more work than it's worth for me to window shop or pick up one or two items. Thankfully daddy is great at doing the shopping for us! Plus that way mommy doesn't spend too much money.
I need to take more video. I try to take some every couple of days and I know it's been awhile since I videotaped you. I hope to watch the clips on your 1st birthday. I already know I'll be boo-hooing the entire time. There are so many challenges to taking care of an infant but somehow I know I will miss this time tremendously once you are walking and talking and no longer nursing. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. I work hard to consciously be aware of the time you are little. I want to cherish these days when I can simply scoop you up into my arms and that is enough to make you smile. I want to kiss your toes at every diaper change and give you butterfly kisses as I hold your cheek close to mine. I want to sing Do-Re-Mi, ABC's and count to 10... you love it when I sing to you.
Bathtime!! Oh how you love your baths. You are content and quiet and then I start singing, "Splish splash we were taking a bath, all on a "insert day of the week here" night! Then you giggle and we play. By the end of bathtime you are hungry and tired and oh so ready for bed. Bedtime is still 10pm. I tried to move it up last night and it didn't go so well. We spent an hour and a half trying to get you to go to sleep. Then like magic, 10pm hit and you were out! Maybe we will try moving bedtime up again in a few weeks.
We still haven't found a pediatrician for you. I pray every night before you go to bed that God would protect you and keep you healthy. I also pray we find a pediatrician soon as I would like to take you in for your 4 month checkup! I'm curious to see what your weight and height stats are. Here are some of my favorite recent shots of you!
You love your little Lamby!
In your adorable denim dress from Auntie Ashley!
OK mama please no more pictures today!
I had to get some baby in a basket shots! Still fits into the newborn hat Auntie Ashley made!
And of course my favorite, nakie baby!
Oh, be still my heart.
Oh how I love you baby! We have a new carrier now so no more forward facing for your little hips!
Auntie Kate got you this precious onesie! Mama's little photography helper!
Oh you are a whole lot of love sweet girl!
And again, baby in a basket! Thanks Mechele and Jeff- more than just a picnic basket!
One of my favorites! I wish this dress would grow with you! Thank you Auntie Ashley!!
You are doing lots of smiling, cooing, singing and talking but still no rolling over for you baby! I don't mind. I like that you aren't mobile yet. You take your time and when you are good and ready you can roll over. It's almost like you enjoy keeping us in suspense! Or actually, it's more that you are perfectly content on your back. With your pleasantly plump little bod, rolling is probably a lot of work anyway. We don't want you to overwork yourself!
God is good, so so good. You are a happy, sweet tempered, quiet but yet talkative baby. I thank God every day for blessing us with such an easy baby. We are growing in our roles as mommy and daddy but you make it easy sweet girl.
Grandma Cindy will be here tomorrow. I can't wait to show her all the new things you can do. The last time she saw you, you were only 5 weeks old! I pray it's a wonderful visit filled with lots of wonderful memories.
Thank you Jesus for our beautiful, beautiful baby girl!!!!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Tyler, TX: It's good to be back!
After a very hectic week of packing, moving and unpacking, we are
settled back into our place in Tyler. It was hard to say how a 3 month
old would do on the 5 hour trip but all things considered Brenna did
quite well. There wasn't a lot of sleeping and there may have been some
fussing, but overall she was a rock star of a baby. We arrived into
Tyler around 10:45pm on Friday after a storm in Lafayette delayed us by 2
hours. We were hoping to get in earlier. Matt and his brother
unpacked the truck and once Brenna's Pack N Play was setup she was out!
Poor little baby was up until almost 1am! Thankfully she managed to
sleep a whopping 7 1/2 hours straight that night! Like I said, rock
star baby.
Our new place is just one door over from our old apartment but this time we have more space! Having the extra bedroom is nice for visitors and provides an office space for Matt. Our back door opens up to the field where the puppies love to play and we have a first floor unit so there is no more trekking up and down stairs!
It's nice to be back in the land of the familiar. So much of our journey has involved starting over in a new city. This time around we already have friends! We are excited to reconnect with them!
This move was relatively painless thanks to the help of Grandma Colleen and Uncle Eric! They arrived in Lafayette a few days before the move to help us pack and then made the trip with us to help us unpack! THANK YOU SO MUCH. Our visit was filled with packing and unpacking but also with lots of food.
Matt and I have always had a passion for food. Living in the south has led us to love Mexican and now we can add Cajun to our list. Unfortunately I didn't get to indulge quite as much as I normally would have since Brenna is not a fan of spicy food but I still got to experience a lot of Cajun food. We packed the visit with stops at some of our favorite places: Deanos, Copelands, Feezos and 2Pauls. I even surprised Matt with a belated Simpsons themed birthday cake from Katie Bakes! The eating continued once we arrived in Tyler. We visited Newks, Stanley's BBQ, Potpourri House, Chez Bazan and Andy's Frozen Custard. We sure packed in a lot of eating during their visit! I'm fairly confident Grandma Colleen is going to fast for a week.
It was awesome to watch Brenna play with Grandma Colleen and Uncle Eric this past week. Having family visit is definitely a reminder of how nice it would be to live closer. I am appreciative of the extra help around the house and with Brenna but most of all I love watching Brenna smile and laugh for the people that love her! It was a very fun visit and things are definitely quieter around here since they left. Here are some highlight photos from their visit!
Now it's back to work for everyone! Matt is already busy with Locals Love Us and I am working on all things mommy. Grandma Colleen gave me some good pointers in regards to taking care of baby. Top priority right now is getting Brenna on some sort of a day time schedule. Hopefully it goes well! So far she is doing great! She is currently napping. This makes mama very happy. With the chaos of the move she hasn't been doing evening naps very well. I have high hopes of using her nap time to blog and to catch up on my neglected needlepoint projects. I hope to make a dent in Matt's Christmas stocking while we are in Tyler!
Brenna is doing fantastic. She is a very sweet and happy baby. Although she does have her mama's Latino flare which leads to a little fussing when hunger or sleepiness hit. I am currently on the search for a new pediatrician and pray I find one soon so she can go in for her 4 month checkup in a couple of weeks. I still can't believe how big you are getting, Brenna! Although it was bitter-sweet to leave Lafayette, I am already excited at the growth that will occur while we are in Tyler. I am sure we will have a lot of firsts. I'll be sure to have the video camera on hand.
Other than that, we are just thankful for our many blessings as we continue on this journey! We are scheduled to be in Tyler through mid December and after that we don't know! Praying that God would lead us and show us the way!
Sending all our love from Tyler, TX!
Our new place is just one door over from our old apartment but this time we have more space! Having the extra bedroom is nice for visitors and provides an office space for Matt. Our back door opens up to the field where the puppies love to play and we have a first floor unit so there is no more trekking up and down stairs!
It's nice to be back in the land of the familiar. So much of our journey has involved starting over in a new city. This time around we already have friends! We are excited to reconnect with them!
This move was relatively painless thanks to the help of Grandma Colleen and Uncle Eric! They arrived in Lafayette a few days before the move to help us pack and then made the trip with us to help us unpack! THANK YOU SO MUCH. Our visit was filled with packing and unpacking but also with lots of food.
Matt and I have always had a passion for food. Living in the south has led us to love Mexican and now we can add Cajun to our list. Unfortunately I didn't get to indulge quite as much as I normally would have since Brenna is not a fan of spicy food but I still got to experience a lot of Cajun food. We packed the visit with stops at some of our favorite places: Deanos, Copelands, Feezos and 2Pauls. I even surprised Matt with a belated Simpsons themed birthday cake from Katie Bakes! The eating continued once we arrived in Tyler. We visited Newks, Stanley's BBQ, Potpourri House, Chez Bazan and Andy's Frozen Custard. We sure packed in a lot of eating during their visit! I'm fairly confident Grandma Colleen is going to fast for a week.
It was awesome to watch Brenna play with Grandma Colleen and Uncle Eric this past week. Having family visit is definitely a reminder of how nice it would be to live closer. I am appreciative of the extra help around the house and with Brenna but most of all I love watching Brenna smile and laugh for the people that love her! It was a very fun visit and things are definitely quieter around here since they left. Here are some highlight photos from their visit!
Now it's back to work for everyone! Matt is already busy with Locals Love Us and I am working on all things mommy. Grandma Colleen gave me some good pointers in regards to taking care of baby. Top priority right now is getting Brenna on some sort of a day time schedule. Hopefully it goes well! So far she is doing great! She is currently napping. This makes mama very happy. With the chaos of the move she hasn't been doing evening naps very well. I have high hopes of using her nap time to blog and to catch up on my neglected needlepoint projects. I hope to make a dent in Matt's Christmas stocking while we are in Tyler!
Brenna is doing fantastic. She is a very sweet and happy baby. Although she does have her mama's Latino flare which leads to a little fussing when hunger or sleepiness hit. I am currently on the search for a new pediatrician and pray I find one soon so she can go in for her 4 month checkup in a couple of weeks. I still can't believe how big you are getting, Brenna! Although it was bitter-sweet to leave Lafayette, I am already excited at the growth that will occur while we are in Tyler. I am sure we will have a lot of firsts. I'll be sure to have the video camera on hand.
Other than that, we are just thankful for our many blessings as we continue on this journey! We are scheduled to be in Tyler through mid December and after that we don't know! Praying that God would lead us and show us the way!
Sending all our love from Tyler, TX!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Leaving Lafayette: Humbled, thankful and positive!
This morning I made a call to our doctor's billing office in response to a very large bill we received from the hospital for Brenna's birth. After figuring out that the insurance processed something incorrectly I breathed a sigh of relief.
After figuring out what the deal was, the nice voice who was helping me asked if she could as me a question. She wanted to know how my experience was with my doctor. She was referring to the doctor that provided me with my prenatal care. What I told the woman was that while I had nothing bad to say about my doctor, she wasn't the one that delivered our baby. Dr. Bourque was the on-call doctor that helped bring our sweet Brenna into the world. Dr. Bourque was everything we could have asked for in a doctor. His bedside manner made me feel like he was more like family than simply the on-call doctor. The way he handled our delivery will forever leave me with warm fuzzies and an abundance of gratitude that he was at the hospital that night! My friend Erin was blessed to have Dr. Bourque as her prenatal doctor. I texted her this morning to tell her I was raving about Dr. Bourque to a stranger. She said he would be so happy to hear that and that she raves about him, too. So what's my point in sharing all of that? Well, it got me thinking- what if we had never made the move to Lafayette, LA? Hmmm....
As I look back to the beginning of our time here I remember feeling frustrated about having to find a new doctor. I also remember thinking how nice it was to get to know the nurses at my old clinic. I wasn't in love with my doctor- some of you may remember she is the one who gave me a complex about how much weight I was gaining. I gained 24.2 pounds in case anyone was curious. Ha, if only I could share that with my old doctor! But I'm off course already- my point is that I can't say in words how thankful I am that I was led to the clinic here in Lafayette and that because my primary doctor wasn't available, we got Dr. Bourque.That's not the only thing I've come to realize.
In reflecting back, I also realized that the amazing Bradley Class we took was what led us to meet three other wonderful couples who we still keep in touch with and who I know will be our forever friends despite the fact that we'll be moving again in 11 days.
What would we have done without our Bradley class? For starters, we would not have met Brandi- our sweet and wise teacher who in the end witnessed Brenna's beautiful birth as our assistant coach! Oh, the joy I have just thinking about how protected we were in all of the details of my pregnancy and our birth. My doctor, the Bradley class with my sweet husband, Brandi... all amazing. God led us to the perfect place at the perfect time. I must admit, Louisiana was not what I had planned. Ha, but then again, we plan and God laughs, right? Yet somehow I sure have a way of thinking MY plan is the best plan. Sigh.
Oh, how I am humbled now as I look at how my attitude has been lately. I have so much to be thankful for and yet I think it's all too easy for us to focus on the negative. I have for the majority of my life been a positive person who wears a smile most of the time. But truth be told, I don't handle change very well. So what does God do? He brings as much change as he possibly can into my world. Not just once, but repeatedly we are led to move, start over, meet new people, build a new community and then leave it all. It's hard. Really hard. But in a lot of ways, I've made it harder than it needs to be. I've focused on what I think my life should look like. I've thought of all the sacrifices I've made in supporting our family through this journey. I keep track of all the things I wish I had or that I miss about our past. I plan to plan and then get upset when MY plan isn't happening at this very second. Not good, Lisa, not good!
It isn't until the last couple of days that I have truly felt God speaking to my heart. He has reminded me of his faithfulness to me and to our family. As I look at Brenna I see a perfect, beautiful, sweet, strong little baby... that ALONE should bring me enough joy to trump every negative thought I have. God has protected my marriage through many peaks and valleys, that too should bring me joy. We have made so many friends along our journey and again, that should bring joy. God alone should be my joy and I should be reminded every day of how good He has been to us through all of these things. It's time to make a change to MY plan.
In an attempt to fully trust God and His leading in my life, I would like to publicly commit to focusing on the positive in my life and to being a more thankful person. I have prayed and have asked God to help me in this. I can tell you to make this sort of commitment right before the move is hard. It's the time when I'm reminded most of the impatience that grows in me over not being settled somewhere yet. It reminds me of the tedious work of packing and unpacking what remains of our belongings. It's when stress levels run high and when saying goodbye to those we've met is near. BUT this is when I need to focus on God the most. I need to let go of my plan and let God take over everything, especially when the going gets tough.
Psalm 46:1 (KJV) ” God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “.
God, help me to seek you at all times. Help me to grow in my faith and to trust that you have the best for me. Help me to focus on the positive. Help me to see all the blessings that exist in my life. Help me to wear a smile knowing you have all the details planned out and I don't have to worry about them. Help me to be a light for you, Lord and to know that you have a reason for leading me down this path and that it is good.
As I commit to being positive and thankful, I also am reminded of my life verse.
See, I am blessed!!! God wants to give me a hope and a future. He wants to prosper me! I have so much to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for my hard working husband, my beautiful daughter, and our loving pups. I am thankful for all the family we have that supports us long distance, that takes time and money to visit us. I am thankful for the gift of being a stay at home mom. I am thankful for a husband who is committed to our family in so many ways. I am thankful for housing and food and transportation. I am thankful for the friendships all over the country that have been there for me and spoke words of encouragement when I needed them most. I am thankful for my life, my journey, my story. I am thankful I know God and can lean on Him. I am thankful I am not in this alone.
Thank you, Jesus for loving me. As I think of the love I have for Brenna, I am now beginning to know the love our God has for us. What an immeasurable amount of love that is. I am also aware now of the pain our Father feels when we as his children don't go to him first in times of trouble. He wants to be there for us, He wants to carry us through painful times. He wants to comfort and care for us. What an amazing parallel there is between us and our heavenly Father and us as parents to our children. I pray I would run to my Father just as I pray someday Brenna will run to me for comfort.
So blessed. So thankful. Stay positive, there is SO much joy to be had, now and in the future. I just know it!
Here is the proof... Brenna's face, pure JOY! Now I'm off to enjoy this little bundle!
After figuring out what the deal was, the nice voice who was helping me asked if she could as me a question. She wanted to know how my experience was with my doctor. She was referring to the doctor that provided me with my prenatal care. What I told the woman was that while I had nothing bad to say about my doctor, she wasn't the one that delivered our baby. Dr. Bourque was the on-call doctor that helped bring our sweet Brenna into the world. Dr. Bourque was everything we could have asked for in a doctor. His bedside manner made me feel like he was more like family than simply the on-call doctor. The way he handled our delivery will forever leave me with warm fuzzies and an abundance of gratitude that he was at the hospital that night! My friend Erin was blessed to have Dr. Bourque as her prenatal doctor. I texted her this morning to tell her I was raving about Dr. Bourque to a stranger. She said he would be so happy to hear that and that she raves about him, too. So what's my point in sharing all of that? Well, it got me thinking- what if we had never made the move to Lafayette, LA? Hmmm....
As I look back to the beginning of our time here I remember feeling frustrated about having to find a new doctor. I also remember thinking how nice it was to get to know the nurses at my old clinic. I wasn't in love with my doctor- some of you may remember she is the one who gave me a complex about how much weight I was gaining. I gained 24.2 pounds in case anyone was curious. Ha, if only I could share that with my old doctor! But I'm off course already- my point is that I can't say in words how thankful I am that I was led to the clinic here in Lafayette and that because my primary doctor wasn't available, we got Dr. Bourque.That's not the only thing I've come to realize.
In reflecting back, I also realized that the amazing Bradley Class we took was what led us to meet three other wonderful couples who we still keep in touch with and who I know will be our forever friends despite the fact that we'll be moving again in 11 days.
What would we have done without our Bradley class? For starters, we would not have met Brandi- our sweet and wise teacher who in the end witnessed Brenna's beautiful birth as our assistant coach! Oh, the joy I have just thinking about how protected we were in all of the details of my pregnancy and our birth. My doctor, the Bradley class with my sweet husband, Brandi... all amazing. God led us to the perfect place at the perfect time. I must admit, Louisiana was not what I had planned. Ha, but then again, we plan and God laughs, right? Yet somehow I sure have a way of thinking MY plan is the best plan. Sigh.
Oh, how I am humbled now as I look at how my attitude has been lately. I have so much to be thankful for and yet I think it's all too easy for us to focus on the negative. I have for the majority of my life been a positive person who wears a smile most of the time. But truth be told, I don't handle change very well. So what does God do? He brings as much change as he possibly can into my world. Not just once, but repeatedly we are led to move, start over, meet new people, build a new community and then leave it all. It's hard. Really hard. But in a lot of ways, I've made it harder than it needs to be. I've focused on what I think my life should look like. I've thought of all the sacrifices I've made in supporting our family through this journey. I keep track of all the things I wish I had or that I miss about our past. I plan to plan and then get upset when MY plan isn't happening at this very second. Not good, Lisa, not good!
It isn't until the last couple of days that I have truly felt God speaking to my heart. He has reminded me of his faithfulness to me and to our family. As I look at Brenna I see a perfect, beautiful, sweet, strong little baby... that ALONE should bring me enough joy to trump every negative thought I have. God has protected my marriage through many peaks and valleys, that too should bring me joy. We have made so many friends along our journey and again, that should bring joy. God alone should be my joy and I should be reminded every day of how good He has been to us through all of these things. It's time to make a change to MY plan.
In an attempt to fully trust God and His leading in my life, I would like to publicly commit to focusing on the positive in my life and to being a more thankful person. I have prayed and have asked God to help me in this. I can tell you to make this sort of commitment right before the move is hard. It's the time when I'm reminded most of the impatience that grows in me over not being settled somewhere yet. It reminds me of the tedious work of packing and unpacking what remains of our belongings. It's when stress levels run high and when saying goodbye to those we've met is near. BUT this is when I need to focus on God the most. I need to let go of my plan and let God take over everything, especially when the going gets tough.
Psalm 46:1 (KJV) ” God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “.
God, help me to seek you at all times. Help me to grow in my faith and to trust that you have the best for me. Help me to focus on the positive. Help me to see all the blessings that exist in my life. Help me to wear a smile knowing you have all the details planned out and I don't have to worry about them. Help me to be a light for you, Lord and to know that you have a reason for leading me down this path and that it is good.
As I commit to being positive and thankful, I also am reminded of my life verse.
Jeremiah 29:11
(NIV)11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.See, I am blessed!!! God wants to give me a hope and a future. He wants to prosper me! I have so much to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for my hard working husband, my beautiful daughter, and our loving pups. I am thankful for all the family we have that supports us long distance, that takes time and money to visit us. I am thankful for the gift of being a stay at home mom. I am thankful for a husband who is committed to our family in so many ways. I am thankful for housing and food and transportation. I am thankful for the friendships all over the country that have been there for me and spoke words of encouragement when I needed them most. I am thankful for my life, my journey, my story. I am thankful I know God and can lean on Him. I am thankful I am not in this alone.
Thank you, Jesus for loving me. As I think of the love I have for Brenna, I am now beginning to know the love our God has for us. What an immeasurable amount of love that is. I am also aware now of the pain our Father feels when we as his children don't go to him first in times of trouble. He wants to be there for us, He wants to carry us through painful times. He wants to comfort and care for us. What an amazing parallel there is between us and our heavenly Father and us as parents to our children. I pray I would run to my Father just as I pray someday Brenna will run to me for comfort.
So blessed. So thankful. Stay positive, there is SO much joy to be had, now and in the future. I just know it!
Here is the proof... Brenna's face, pure JOY! Now I'm off to enjoy this little bundle!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Almost 3 Months Old: Mommy Reflects
Oh dear sweet Brenna Rose how time does fly. I can hardly believe you will be 3 months old in 2 days! I still remember you in my belly like it was yesterday! You have brought such incredible joy into our lives. Most recently you've started "talking" to us in forms of coos, giggles, little coughs and blowing spit bubbles in between.
You've started sleeping through the night for the most part. At least 4 hour stretches on even the roughest nights but usually a solid 7-8 hours most nights! We have your reflux under control and you usually only spit up when daddy is holding you! What a treat for him :)
One of my favorite things though, is to watch you as you wake up in the morning. You let out a few little grunts, flip your little dark haired head back and forth trying to decide whether more sleep is in store or if you are ready to greet the world. Once you lift your head up I reach for you and flip you over onto your back. (You've been a tummy sleeper since you were 3 weeks old!) After I flip you onto your back you stare up at the ceiling fan and towards the light that's peeking in through the closed window curtains. I just watch you. I watch in amazement at how God took you from smaller than a pin dot in my belly, then after nine months to a 6lb 9oz precious baby and now to a nearly 13lb almost 3 month old!
Your big brown sparkling eyes finally spot me looking at you and you give me the biggest gummiest grin you can muster up. I say, "Good morning sweet Brenna Rose" and you giggle. You melt my heart sweet girl. We spend these quiet moments every morning together and I am forever thankful that despite all the change in our lives that you and me, baby girl, we will always be together along with your daddy and your two big sisters.
Speaking of your big sisters, oh how you love them. Mommy usually gets a smile from you but Lola and Stella always get one- even when you are tired. I hold you up to Stella's face and you stare at her with a huge smile and then giggle. Stella wasn't sure what to think of you at first. When we brought you home you would flail your little arms and legs and I think Stella was a bit scared of the little thing that randomly kicked and threw her little arms out. But now that you've become more graceful Stella comes in close to sniff your sweet head and last night she propped her chin on your blanket and snuggled next to you on the couch. As for Lola, she took to you from day one. Such a little mama she is. Lola tries her best to give you kisses right on the face but for now we are preventing that from happening. She does sneak one or two in on the cheek, though! Lola had a hard time at first, watching me hold you so often, but now that you are sleeping through the night and taking awesome morning naps, Lola gets her snuggle time in, too.
Some of my other Brenna favorites and new developments:
You now open your little hands out of fists and when you sleep you have your arms raised over your head with your chubby little hands outstretched.
When I say, "I love you, Brenna Rose" you said "aaah-oooo-oh"... pretty dang sure that's I love you in Brenna talk.
When you are ready to eat you blow lots of bubbles and say "ah-GOO!"
When I am changing your diaper and you would rather be eating at that VERY moment you kick your little legs as fast and hard as you can.
When you are tired you rub your eyes and your favorite is when I sing you to sleep. But you also love the music on your swing. We have to remember to restart it since it only goes for short increments!
Now that you are a big girl you can sit on the couch and just today you pulled yourself forward trying to sit all by yourself! You toppled right over but you are such a strong baby!
Last night was the first time you held a full on conversation with daddy and me. We caught the end of it on video!
I try to cut your nails by chewing them while you are nursing but you aren't a fan.
Kicking your legs for fun (not just when you are hungry) is one of your favorite things to do. You love it even more when we put a tiny pair of shoes on them :)
Bath time is by far one of your favorite activities. Sometimes you talk and other times you are sleepy so you just sit relaxed while mommy washes you. You have almost outgrown your infant sling because your bottom touches the bottom of the tub now :(
When we go out to eat you sleep for a little in your car seat but you much prefer to be held and be a part of the conversation.
You don't like going in the car seat but you stare wide eyed out the back window once we are in the car. You usually fall asleep once we've driven far enough.
Foods you do not like (ie foods mommy no longer eats)
Chocolate, spicy foods, peppers, onions (I'm not complaining about that one), ice cream (that one is brutal), dairy of any kind really, eggs, and acidic fruits.
You go to bed at 10pm just about every single night no matter how much you've napped during the day. You wake up for the day around 7am or 8am but on some days like today you let mommy sleep in until 9am!
During the day we play on your mat, do tummy time, sing Do-Re-Mi and other songs, play in your bouncy chair (that's usually when mommy scarfs down a meal), take naps in your swing, have conversations, and take walks. At nighttime you love to sit on daddy's lap and watch tv except we don't want you to watch tv so we distract you as best we can during the basketball game :) Your baths are around 8:45-9pm and we nurse and go to bed by 10! Right now you are sleeping in your pack n play. You outgrew your bassinet very quickly! Mommy is a little sad at the thought of putting you in a big crib, but once you outgrow your pack n play we will have to!
At nearly 3 months you are a very sweet, alert, snuggly, chubby, bright eyed, zero to 60 when you're hungry or tired kind of girl- just like your mama. We are so very blessed to be your parents and we grow more and more in love with you every day. I'll try to update more often so it's not all at once and so I don't forget the little details.
Oh Brenna, I could go on about all the things I love about you. Here are some photos of you from this past month. We love you SO MUCH!!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
You've started sleeping through the night for the most part. At least 4 hour stretches on even the roughest nights but usually a solid 7-8 hours most nights! We have your reflux under control and you usually only spit up when daddy is holding you! What a treat for him :)
One of my favorite things though, is to watch you as you wake up in the morning. You let out a few little grunts, flip your little dark haired head back and forth trying to decide whether more sleep is in store or if you are ready to greet the world. Once you lift your head up I reach for you and flip you over onto your back. (You've been a tummy sleeper since you were 3 weeks old!) After I flip you onto your back you stare up at the ceiling fan and towards the light that's peeking in through the closed window curtains. I just watch you. I watch in amazement at how God took you from smaller than a pin dot in my belly, then after nine months to a 6lb 9oz precious baby and now to a nearly 13lb almost 3 month old!
Your big brown sparkling eyes finally spot me looking at you and you give me the biggest gummiest grin you can muster up. I say, "Good morning sweet Brenna Rose" and you giggle. You melt my heart sweet girl. We spend these quiet moments every morning together and I am forever thankful that despite all the change in our lives that you and me, baby girl, we will always be together along with your daddy and your two big sisters.
Speaking of your big sisters, oh how you love them. Mommy usually gets a smile from you but Lola and Stella always get one- even when you are tired. I hold you up to Stella's face and you stare at her with a huge smile and then giggle. Stella wasn't sure what to think of you at first. When we brought you home you would flail your little arms and legs and I think Stella was a bit scared of the little thing that randomly kicked and threw her little arms out. But now that you've become more graceful Stella comes in close to sniff your sweet head and last night she propped her chin on your blanket and snuggled next to you on the couch. As for Lola, she took to you from day one. Such a little mama she is. Lola tries her best to give you kisses right on the face but for now we are preventing that from happening. She does sneak one or two in on the cheek, though! Lola had a hard time at first, watching me hold you so often, but now that you are sleeping through the night and taking awesome morning naps, Lola gets her snuggle time in, too.
Some of my other Brenna favorites and new developments:
You now open your little hands out of fists and when you sleep you have your arms raised over your head with your chubby little hands outstretched.
When I say, "I love you, Brenna Rose" you said "aaah-oooo-oh"... pretty dang sure that's I love you in Brenna talk.
When you are ready to eat you blow lots of bubbles and say "ah-GOO!"
When I am changing your diaper and you would rather be eating at that VERY moment you kick your little legs as fast and hard as you can.
When you are tired you rub your eyes and your favorite is when I sing you to sleep. But you also love the music on your swing. We have to remember to restart it since it only goes for short increments!
Now that you are a big girl you can sit on the couch and just today you pulled yourself forward trying to sit all by yourself! You toppled right over but you are such a strong baby!
Last night was the first time you held a full on conversation with daddy and me. We caught the end of it on video!
I try to cut your nails by chewing them while you are nursing but you aren't a fan.
Kicking your legs for fun (not just when you are hungry) is one of your favorite things to do. You love it even more when we put a tiny pair of shoes on them :)
Bath time is by far one of your favorite activities. Sometimes you talk and other times you are sleepy so you just sit relaxed while mommy washes you. You have almost outgrown your infant sling because your bottom touches the bottom of the tub now :(
When we go out to eat you sleep for a little in your car seat but you much prefer to be held and be a part of the conversation.
You don't like going in the car seat but you stare wide eyed out the back window once we are in the car. You usually fall asleep once we've driven far enough.
Foods you do not like (ie foods mommy no longer eats)
Chocolate, spicy foods, peppers, onions (I'm not complaining about that one), ice cream (that one is brutal), dairy of any kind really, eggs, and acidic fruits.
You go to bed at 10pm just about every single night no matter how much you've napped during the day. You wake up for the day around 7am or 8am but on some days like today you let mommy sleep in until 9am!
During the day we play on your mat, do tummy time, sing Do-Re-Mi and other songs, play in your bouncy chair (that's usually when mommy scarfs down a meal), take naps in your swing, have conversations, and take walks. At nighttime you love to sit on daddy's lap and watch tv except we don't want you to watch tv so we distract you as best we can during the basketball game :) Your baths are around 8:45-9pm and we nurse and go to bed by 10! Right now you are sleeping in your pack n play. You outgrew your bassinet very quickly! Mommy is a little sad at the thought of putting you in a big crib, but once you outgrow your pack n play we will have to!
At nearly 3 months you are a very sweet, alert, snuggly, chubby, bright eyed, zero to 60 when you're hungry or tired kind of girl- just like your mama. We are so very blessed to be your parents and we grow more and more in love with you every day. I'll try to update more often so it's not all at once and so I don't forget the little details.
Oh Brenna, I could go on about all the things I love about you. Here are some photos of you from this past month. We love you SO MUCH!!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
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