Two years later and I'm back.

I can't believe it's been nearly 2 years since my last post.  I just re-read my past posts and I will be much better about blogging from here on out. It's so fun to read and relive the past via blog.

The Update:
Presently we are living in Tyler, TX. We left Sioux Falls and arrived in Tyler on June 8th.  We went from a 4 bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment.  Granted we live in a community with lots of great amenities (3 pools, workout facilities, free golf and a beautiful clubhouse). The puppies have started to make some new puppy friends and I got to work on meeting some friends of my own almost immediately after moving. Kjersti has been a dear friend and I am so thankful for her.  Jacque and Sachi are wonderful girls I met through church and I am excited to start a bible study with them soon.  Matt is busy with Locals Love Us and we are waiting to hear if we will move again in January or not.  I am working part-time at a company called Mentoring Minds and the people there are great.

The Exciting News:
We are having a baby! Due April 24, 2012!  We will find out the sex on November 21st (unless we decide to wait until Christmas to find out when the rest of the family does).  We are so excited to be pregnant and can't wait to meet our little bundle of joy. 

The Truth:
In some ways this move has been the hardest one yet.  While we have friends and a nice place to live in Tyler, finding out we were pregnant changed a lot of things for me.  We accepted this position (yes, the one where they told us up front we'd be moving every 2-4 months) with the intention of eventually having a baby. 

But here's the thing. Thinking about it in a futuristic way and actually being pregnant realizing this relocating thing is going to be our life are two different things. Knowing there is a sweet babe growing and knowing we are so far from family/old friends is brutal. I have had so many mixed feelings about continuing in this lifestyle of constantly moving.  I've also realized how good we had it in Sioux Falls. I had a job I LOVED, I was surrounded by people I LOVED, and Matt and I had hit the best point in our marriage since meeting with our fantastic counselor Dave.  So why did we leave it all?  I've asked myself this question often. 

Sometimes I honestly feel like we were led to Tyler to pursue this new job venture.  Other times I think we rushed into things and are now left inbetween a rock and a hard place.  Our Sioux Falls home is under a 2 year lease.  We still have a year and a half to go until we can return to that home.  We don't know the future of Matt's job and may not until right before we have to make a decision about whether or not to move.  It's all too much for me at times.  I've been told I am mourning the life I had and must learn how to accept my life as it is now.  What makes that so challenging is that I had full input into this decision.  But of course I believe in the leading of God, so would he have let me make this decision to move to Tyler if it wasn't His Will?

My current theme song is Revelation by Third Day, here are the lyrics (I don't feel this strongly all the time, but generally speaking it sums up my feelings quite well)

My life has led me down the road that's so uncertain

And now I am left alone and I am broken

Trying to find my way

Trying to find the faith that's gone

This time i know that you are holding all the answers

And I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances

On roads that never seem

To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation

Show me what to do

Cause I've been trying

To find my way

I haven't got a clue

Tell me should I stay here

Or do i need to move?

Give me a revelation

I've got nothing without you

I've got nothing without you