Leaving Lafayette: Humbled, thankful and positive!

This morning I made a call to our doctor's billing office in response to a very large bill we received from the hospital for Brenna's birth.  After figuring out that the insurance processed something incorrectly I breathed a sigh of relief.

After figuring out what the deal was, the nice voice who was helping me asked if she could as me a question.  She wanted to know how my experience was with my doctor.  She was referring to the doctor that provided me with my prenatal care.  What I told the woman was that while I had nothing bad to say about my doctor, she wasn't the one that delivered our baby.  Dr. Bourque was the on-call doctor that helped bring our sweet Brenna into the world. Dr. Bourque was everything we could have asked for in a doctor.  His bedside manner made me feel like he was more like family than simply the on-call doctor.  The way he handled our delivery will forever leave me with warm fuzzies and an abundance of gratitude that he was at the hospital that night!  My friend Erin was blessed to have Dr. Bourque as her prenatal doctor.  I texted her this morning to tell her I was raving about Dr. Bourque to a stranger.  She said he would be so happy to hear that and that she raves about him, too.  So what's my point in sharing all of that?  Well, it got me thinking- what if we had never made the move to Lafayette, LA?  Hmmm....

As I look back to the beginning of our time here I remember feeling frustrated about having to find a new doctor.  I also remember thinking how nice it was to get to know the nurses at my old clinic.  I wasn't in love with my doctor- some of you may remember she is the one who gave me a complex about how much weight I was gaining.  I gained 24.2 pounds in case anyone was curious.  Ha, if only I could share that with my old doctor! But I'm off course already- my point is that I can't say in words how thankful I am that I was led to the clinic here in Lafayette and that because my primary doctor wasn't available, we got Dr. Bourque.That's not the only thing I've come to realize.

In reflecting back, I also realized that the amazing Bradley Class we took was what led us to meet three other wonderful couples who we still keep in touch with and who I know will be our forever friends despite the fact that we'll be moving again in 11 days.

What would we have done without our Bradley class?  For starters, we would not have met Brandi- our sweet and wise teacher who in the end witnessed Brenna's beautiful birth as our assistant coach!  Oh, the joy I have just thinking about how protected we were in all of the details of my pregnancy and our birth.  My doctor, the Bradley class with my sweet husband, Brandi... all amazing. God led us to the perfect place at the perfect time.  I must admit, Louisiana was not what I had planned.  Ha, but then again, we plan and God laughs, right? Yet somehow I sure have a way of thinking MY plan is the best plan. Sigh.

Oh, how I am humbled now as I look at how my attitude has been lately.  I have so much to be thankful for and yet I think it's all too easy for us to focus on the negative.  I have for the majority of my life been a positive person who wears a smile most of the time.  But truth be told, I don't handle change very well.  So what does God do?  He brings as much change as he possibly can into my world.  Not just once, but repeatedly we are led to move, start over, meet new people, build a new community and then leave it all.  It's hard.  Really hard. But in a lot of ways, I've made it harder than it needs to be.  I've focused on what I think my life should look like.  I've thought of all the sacrifices I've made in supporting our family through this journey.  I keep track of all the things I wish I had or that I miss about our past.  I plan to plan and then get upset when MY plan isn't happening at this very second. Not good, Lisa, not good!

It isn't until the last couple of days that I have truly felt God speaking to my heart.  He has reminded me of his faithfulness to me and to our family.  As I look at Brenna I see a perfect, beautiful, sweet, strong little baby... that ALONE should bring me enough joy to trump every negative thought I have.  God has protected my marriage through many peaks and valleys, that too should bring me joy.  We have made so many friends along our journey and again, that should bring joy.  God alone should be my joy and I should be reminded every day of how good He has been to us through all of these things. It's time to make a change to MY plan.

In an attempt to fully trust God and His leading in my life, I would like to publicly commit to focusing on the positive in my life and to being a more thankful person.  I have prayed and have asked God to help me in this.  I can tell you to make this sort of commitment right before the move is hard.  It's the time when I'm reminded most of the impatience that grows in me over not being settled somewhere yet.  It reminds me of the tedious work of packing and unpacking what remains of our belongings.  It's when stress levels run high and when saying goodbye to those we've met is near. BUT this is when I need to focus on God the most.  I need to let go of my plan and let God take over everything, especially when the going gets tough.


Psalm 46:1 (KJV) ” God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “.

God, help me to seek you at all times.  Help me to grow in my faith and to trust that you have the best for me.  Help me to focus on the positive.  Help me to see all the blessings that exist in my life.  Help me to wear a smile knowing you have all the details planned out and I don't have to worry about them.  Help me to be a light for you, Lord and to know that you have a reason for leading me down this path and that it is good.

As I commit to being positive and thankful, I also am reminded of my life verse.

Jeremiah 29:11

 (NIV)¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

See, I am blessed!!! God wants to give me a hope and a future. He wants to prosper me!  I have so much to be thankful for.  Today I am thankful for my hard working husband, my beautiful daughter, and our loving pups.  I am thankful for all the family we have that supports us long distance, that takes time and money to visit us.  I am thankful for the gift of being a stay at home mom.  I am thankful for a husband who is committed to our family in so many ways.  I am thankful for housing and food and transportation.  I am thankful for the friendships all over the country that have been there for me and spoke words of encouragement when I needed them most.  I am thankful for my life, my journey, my story.  I am thankful I know God and can lean on Him.  I am thankful I am not in this alone.


Thank you, Jesus for loving me.  As I think of the love I have for Brenna, I am now beginning to know the love our God has for us.  What an immeasurable amount of love that is. I am also aware now of the pain our Father feels when we as his children don't go to him first in times of trouble.  He wants to be there for us, He wants to carry us through painful times.  He wants to comfort and care for us.  What an amazing parallel there is between us and our heavenly Father and us as parents to our children.  I pray I would run to my Father just as I pray someday Brenna will run to me for comfort.  


So blessed. So thankful. Stay positive, there is SO much joy to be had, now and in the future.  I just know it! 

Here is the proof... Brenna's face, pure JOY! Now I'm off to enjoy this little bundle!

Almost 3 Months Old: Mommy Reflects

Oh dear sweet Brenna Rose how time does fly. I can hardly believe you will be 3 months old in 2 days! I still remember you in my belly like it was yesterday!  You have brought such incredible joy into our lives.  Most recently you've started "talking" to us in forms of coos, giggles, little coughs and  blowing spit bubbles in between. 

You've started sleeping through the night for the most part.  At least 4 hour stretches on even the roughest nights but usually a solid 7-8 hours most nights!  We have your reflux under control and you usually only spit up when daddy is holding you! What a treat for him :) 

One of my favorite things though, is to watch you as you wake up in the morning.  You let out a few little grunts, flip your little dark haired head back and forth trying to decide whether more sleep is in store or if you are ready to greet the world.  Once you lift your head up I reach for you and flip you over onto your back.  (You've been a tummy sleeper since you were 3 weeks old!) After I flip you onto your back you stare up at the ceiling fan and towards the light that's peeking in through the closed window curtains.  I just watch you.  I watch in amazement at how God took you from smaller than a pin dot in my belly, then after nine months to a 6lb 9oz precious baby and now to a nearly 13lb almost 3 month old! 

Your big brown sparkling eyes finally spot me looking at you and you give me the biggest gummiest grin you can muster up.  I say, "Good morning sweet Brenna Rose" and you giggle.  You melt my heart sweet girl.  We spend these quiet moments every morning together and I am forever thankful that despite all the change in our lives that you and me, baby girl, we will always be together along with your daddy and your two big sisters.

Speaking of your big sisters, oh how you love them.  Mommy usually gets a smile from you but Lola and Stella always get one- even when you are tired.  I hold you up to Stella's face and you stare at her with a huge smile and then giggle.  Stella wasn't sure what to think of you at first.  When we brought you home you would flail your little arms and legs and I think Stella was a bit scared of the little thing that randomly kicked and threw her little arms out.  But now that you've become more graceful Stella comes in close to sniff your sweet head and last night she propped her chin on your blanket and snuggled next to you on the couch.  As for Lola, she took to you from day one.  Such a little mama she is.  Lola tries her best to give you kisses right on the face but for now we are preventing that from happening.  She does sneak one or two in on the cheek, though!  Lola had a hard time at first, watching me hold you so often, but now that you are sleeping through the night and taking awesome morning naps, Lola gets her snuggle time in, too.

Some of my other Brenna favorites and new developments:

You now open your little hands out of fists and when you sleep you have your arms raised over your head with your chubby little hands outstretched.

When I say, "I love you, Brenna Rose" you said "aaah-oooo-oh"... pretty dang sure that's I love you in Brenna talk.

When you are ready to eat you blow lots of bubbles and say "ah-GOO!"

When I am changing your diaper and you would rather be eating at that VERY moment you kick your little legs as fast and hard as you can. 

When you are tired you rub your eyes and your favorite is when I sing you to sleep.  But you also love the music on your swing. We have to remember to restart it since it only goes for short increments!

Now that you are a big girl you can sit on the couch and just today you pulled yourself forward trying to sit all by yourself! You toppled right over but you are such a strong baby!

Last night was the first time you held a full on conversation with daddy and me. We caught the end of it on video!

I try to cut your nails by chewing them while you are nursing but you aren't a fan.

Kicking your legs for fun (not just when you are hungry) is one of your favorite things to do. You love it even more when we put a tiny pair of shoes on them :)

Bath time is by far one of your favorite activities.  Sometimes you talk and other times you are sleepy so you just sit relaxed while mommy washes you.  You have almost outgrown your infant sling because your bottom touches the bottom of the tub now :(

When we go out to eat you sleep for a little in your car seat but you much prefer to be held and be a part of the conversation.  

You don't like going in the car seat but you stare wide eyed out the back window once we are in the car.  You usually fall asleep once we've driven far enough.

Foods you do not like (ie foods mommy no longer eats)
Chocolate, spicy foods, peppers, onions (I'm not complaining about that one), ice cream (that one is brutal), dairy of any kind really, eggs, and acidic fruits. 

You go to bed at 10pm just about every single night no matter how much you've napped during the day.  You wake up for the day around 7am or 8am but on some days like today you let mommy sleep in until 9am!

During the day we play on your mat, do tummy time, sing Do-Re-Mi and other songs, play in your bouncy chair (that's usually when mommy scarfs down a meal), take naps in your swing, have conversations, and take walks.  At nighttime you love to sit on daddy's lap and watch tv except we don't want you to watch tv so we distract you as best we can during the basketball game :)  Your baths are around 8:45-9pm and we nurse and go to bed by 10! Right now you are sleeping in your pack n play.  You outgrew your bassinet very quickly! Mommy is a little sad at the thought of putting you in a big crib, but once you outgrow your pack n play we will have to!

At nearly 3 months you are a very sweet, alert, snuggly, chubby, bright eyed, zero to 60 when you're hungry or tired kind of girl- just like your mama.  We are so very blessed to be your parents and we grow more and more in love with you every day.  I'll try to update more often so it's not all at once and so I don't forget the little details.

Oh Brenna, I could go on about all the things I love about you.  Here are some photos of you from this past month.  We love you SO MUCH!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Bradley Birth Method: The only method for us!

Let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start):

When we moved from Tyler, TX to Lafayette, LA I was already 7 months pregnant.  It was an overwhelming thought to start over with my prenatal care.  I needed to find a new clinic, a new doctor, a new hospital, a new everything! It was funny to me that some  clinics wouldn't take me since I was already 7 months along.  Thankfully I did find a doctor that was accepting new patients, even ones that were already with child and 7 months along!

After securing a clinic and a new doctor came the question of our actual birth.  I had watched the documentary The Business of Being Born and to be honest it terrified me.  To witness the live births, natural at that, just made me nervous and downright freaked out about my own labor and delivery.  It was at that point that I decided Matt and I should try to get more educated on the topic of birth.

We didn't have much time but I researched and finally came across a birthing method called The Bradley Method: Husband Coached Child Birth.  This method focused on the role of the husband as the labor coach and also incorporated fitness and nutrition into their 12 week program.  I also discovered that in addition to the book, there were classes we could attend!


I immediately emailed the contact person, Brandi, for more information.  Since I was already 7 months along I wondered if we had missed our window for taking a birthing class.  Brandi responded to my email very quickly and to my surprise she had just started a new class with 5 other couples!  We had missed the first week but she said she would be happy to catch us up!  The cost for the class was $300.  I mentioned the class and the cost to my loving hubby and his response was, "Whatever you want!"  I called Brandi and told her we were a go for the class!


"What is The Bradley Method^®?
The Bradley Method^® teaches natural childbirth and views birth as a natural process. It is our belief that most women with proper education, preparation, and the help of a loving and supportive coach can be taught to give birth naturally. The Bradley Method^® is a system of natural labor techniques in which a woman and her coach play an active part. It is a simple method of increasing self-awareness, teaching a woman how to deal with the stress of labor by tuning in to her own body. The Bradley Method^® encourages mothers to trust their bodies using natural breathing, relaxation, nutrition, exercise, and education."
~ www.bradleybirth.com

"Dr. Bradley was born on a farm in Atchison, Kansas, December 11, 1917. Growing up on the farm provided Dr. Bradley with the love of nature that he brought into his medical practice. Dr. Bradley learned that nature was not something to fight against but something to follow"
~ bestnaturalbirth.com

Our Bradley Birth experience:
Our class met at Richardson Chiropractic off of South College Avenue. Class was from 6:45pm-8:30pm once a week on Tuesdays. There was a workbook that we followed during the class as well as "Husband Coached Childbirth Book" that we read. Well, mostly Matt read it.  Each class focused on a different topic related to pregnancy, nutrition, exercise, labor and postpartum.  I loved our class because our instructor Brandi was happy to address questions and concerns whenever we had them.  It was also fun to hear what the other couples in the class though about certain topics.


Each class started with going over the homework for the week and asking questions.  We then covered the new material, sometimes watched a video (yes- the ones that remind you of 7th grade health class!) and ended the class by practicing exercises or relaxation. 

I think watching the videos helped both of us.  Wow. They were very detailed birth videos.  I must admit, they took some of the shock value off of what labor and delivery really looks like but it also helped us to see a birth and to know what we could possibly expect from our own birth. I couldn't help but laugh the first time the husbands saw the unedited videos of a live birth. There were a lot of covered eyes and "you can't come back from that!" comments :).

After every class I had learned something new.  It's amazing to me how much there is to learn about not only pregnancy but labor and delivery as well.  I love how the Bradley method empowered me as a woman but also Matt as a coach.  He was just as aware of what to expect as I was.  In my opinion, it was a joint effort in getting to this point so I only think it's fair to include Matt in the pregnancy and the labor/delivery of our precious bundle.

Who knew there was so much I could do during my pregnancy to help me during my delivery! I loved that this method was one that got you actively involved in your pregnancy.  I was not going to be a couch potato caving into my cravings! Mostly because I didn't want to gain excess weight but also because the health of my baby was of utmost importance.  Matt held me accountable and offered words of encouragement on the days when I didn't feel so motivated.


Nutrition was a big focus of our Bradley classes.  I followed a diet of sorts that was designed by Dr. Bradley to provide nutrition for me and my baby.  It wasn't a list of foods I had to have or certain meal plans but rather a list of components that I should include in my daily food intake.  For example, they emphasize the importance of protein in my diet.  Protein is especially important in the 3rd trimester. It helps provide the extra sustenance that is necessary for proper brain development of the baby.  I was taking in 70-100 grams of protein daily!  Some days I had to add a serving in right before bed to make my daily goals.  The Bradley method also supports consuming plenty of fats as they help to prepare your body for the actual delivery.  Who doesn't want to eat a little extra fat! I loved adding butter and olive oil in my food prep.  Salt was another interesting addition to my diet.  I've never been the type to add salt to my food but the Bradley Method encourages you to "salt to taste".  The extra salt is beneficial for keeping bloating away as it regulates your body fluids- seems odd as you would think salt retains water, but it sure worked for me! Even in the days leading up to my labor I did not bloat out.


Exercise was another focal point of the Bradley method.  In the early days we were encouraged to walk 15 minutes a day and to do a set number of pelvic rocks, butterflies and squats.  As we progressed in our pregnancy the number of reps we did of each exercise increased.  By my third trimester I was encouraged to walk twice a day for 30 minutes at a time.  I have always loved exercise but I loved it even more when I was pregnant.  Not only did the exercise give me a boost of energy but my mood stayed elevated.  Other than hunger pains, I was a very content and happy pregnant lady most of the time! I also never had back or leg pain.  I slept well and I maintained a very healthy weight. I gained 25 pounds total during my pregnancy. 


As my coach, Matt was to hold me accountable in the areas of nutrition and exercise.  I am so thankful he did because less than 2 months after having Brenna and I was back in all of my pre-pregnancy clothes.  Please note my body is not where it was before pregnancy as things stretch and I need to allow time for my body to bounce back, but I feel great and I attribute it directly to the work I did while I was pregnant.  I also find that working out post pregnancy is easier!

In addition to diet and exercise, relaxation is notably the most important part of the Bradley method.  Dr. Bradley grew up on a farm and observed many animals giving birth.  Dr. Bradley believed that women, like the animals he had observed growing up, could give birth without drugs and distress. During their labors the animals he observed would enter an almost sleep like state towards the end- the most difficult transition phase.  This is how Dr. Bradley developed the relaxation part of his method.  Mothers were to focus on creating a sleep like state by relaxing their entire bodies and lying on the bed.This stage usually came during the most difficult part of labor when mother's bodies were exhausted and lying down in a bed was the best way to conserve energy.


In each class we were taught proper relaxation.  The focus was for the mother to relax her entire body and do deep abdominal breathing while the labor coach identified places of tension.  The husbands were taught how to identify tension in their spouse's body and then to use massage or rubbing to help relax that area.  It was awesome to practice this at the end of class. I wanted to go straight to sleep every time!

Thank goodness we practiced relaxation though.  It seems easy but in our actual labor I tensed up in my shoulders first.  I am so thankful I had Brandi! She focused on massaging my shoulders and redirected me to my abdominal breathing during contractions.  Focusing on relaxation and deep breathing are the two major things that got me through my labor.  As my contractions grew stronger, the importance of staying relaxed in my body and in my breathing were key.  I am so thankful for the practice we had in the Bradley class and for labor coaches that knew how to help me maintain a state of relaxation.


But here is my favorite part of the Bradley Birthing Method.  It is "Husband Coached Childbirth".  In the old days men weren't even allowed in the labor room.  In deliveries, Dr. Bradley found that as soon as the baby was born, the women were praising him and his efforts.  He found it odd that he was receiving this praise along with displays of affection since other than delivering the baby (which was a great accomplishment of course), he shared no emotional connection to the mother or the baby.  But yet he was the one receiving the praise.  It was at that point that he realized how important it was for the husband to be involved, very involved.


During Dr. Bradley's research he found that the relationship that already existed between wife and husband was what allowed the couple to be in sync during the labor process. Watch a Bradley birth and what you will normally see is a team working together with only intermittent help from the staff until the point of delivery.  The husband's one job is to support the mother as she labors.  The result? A mother who looks adoringly at her husband when the baby comes out! It also results in a labor that is much more relaxed because the mother feels supported the entire time.



Looking at my own labor experience I can say that I would NOT have been as successful had it not been for my coach, Matt (hubby) and our assistant coach Brandi (Bradley instructor).  It was with their help that I remained calm, relaxed and focused throughout even the worst of my contractions.  At the end of it, I rejoiced with my birthing team, not just the doctor!  But I must add that the Bradley method also encourages you to find a doctor and birthing team that supports your desire to have a natural birth.  I visited three doctors before I found my doctor.  As it turned out she did not actually deliver our baby but the man who did was amazing! I will forever be thankful that Dr. Bourque delivered our sweet Brenna girl.  He fully supported our desire to have a natural birth.  He allowed me to labor freely and was very respectful of giving us our time and privacy right up until the pushing phase.  Then he stepped in and delivered our babe!

I can't imagine going through my pregnancy and labor without the education of the Bradley Method. Even if you have plans for interventions such as induction or epidural, I would still highly recommend you take a Bradley class.  It can only help to be knowledgeable about your body and your baby!  Although I support natural birth above interventions, I personally know couples who had to have interventions and they are still very glad they took the Bradley classes despite not having a natural birth.


If you have any questions about the Bradley method or would like to find out if there is a class in your area- visit www.bradleybirth.com.  I am looking into becoming an instructor in the near future! I'd love to spread some of this Bradley love if I can! :)


I can't say enough about the education I received thanks to this class.  I will definitely attempt another natural birth next time!